Okay. Not sports injuries in the traditional sense. But choir is an athletic endeavor in its own right, especially after five runs of Bach’s B minor in six days. Seriously. Stop laughing.
- Throat — this is the most obvious choir injury, scratchy, irritated, eliciting a constant litany of rather unmusical hacking. Welcome to the land of tea.
- Lower back — standing for long periods of time on rickety risers holding a 240 page score erect does one’s back no favors. And speaking of hoisting that massive score…
- Upper arms/upper back — kids, that shit is heavy, and if you ladies want to be a good little chorister and watch the conductor whilst singing a complicated five-voice fugue, you have to lift that score high enough to at least clear your rack. Oof.
- Hands/wrists — again with the fucking score, fingers splayed out and wrists engaged to help support the weight. Clarinetists with carpal tunnel need not apply…unless inexplicably required to by their fucking master’s program.
- Feet — Standing, for two hours, on a riser. I rest my case.
- Jaw???? — This one is new for me. My jaw is a mess. Trying to chew today’s sandwich was torture. Seriously, singers? What the fuck??
I need a massage and a drink. Well, at least I can indulge in the latter…while doing my homework. Cheers!
